How to Stay Sober During Difficult Times

Last Updated:

September 11th, 2026

At some point in recovery, something hard is going to happen. It may be grief, a relationship falling apart, money worries, or a change you did not choose and did not want. Staying sober through those moments is one of the real tests of recovery, and one of the things people worry about most. Recovery takes real effort at the best of times, and when life turns difficult, it can feel like the ground has moved under everything you have built.

Why do difficult times make maintaining sobriety harder?

When things were difficult before, drinking or drug use was probably how you got through them (or at least how you tried to). The brain learns that, and it builds a connection between feeling bad and using something that makes the feeling go away, even temporarily. So when something painful happens now, that same pull can come back, sometimes suddenly and with real force.

This is what makes hard times in recovery different from ordinary days. It is your brain drawing on what it learned to do when things got bad. Understanding that can help you see that the craving is a learned response, and make a different choice.

The link between difficult emotions and the urge to use is well established, and coping with emotions in recovery is something most people find harder than they expected.

Knowing what makes it harder for you

Everyone has different situations that make cravings stronger. For some people, it is grief, and the loss of someone or something they loved. For others, it is loneliness due to damaged relationships or being sober in a social world that drinks.

A relationship ending can knock away the person who was part of your recovery routine and leave a gap that feels impossible to fill soberly. Money trouble can bring a kind of low-level, grinding stress that doesn’t ever seem to go away. And major life changes, even good ones like a new job, a move or a new baby, can unsettle the structure that was quietly keeping you safe.

Knowing which of these sobriety challenges affects you the most can help you prepare for them. That doesn’t mean the feeling will go away, but you can include strategies for managing stress and personal difficulties in your relapse prevention plan.

For example, if you know that isolation is the thing that makes it hardest, you can build in more contact with people before it gets bad. If money issues are overwhelming you, your rehab centre may be able to connect you with job resources or skills training.

What helps when things get hard

The things that help in ordinary recovery are the same things that help in a difficult patch. At Bayberry, many of these strategies are included in our clients’ relapse prevention plans.

Leaning on your support network

Staying connected to people who understand what you are going through matters more than almost anything else. That may be a sponsor, a recovery support group, friends in recovery, or a counsellor. What is most important is having someone you can be honest with. Isolation feeds cravings to use, but connection weakens them.

Attending fellowship meetings and aftercare

Aftercare therapy sessions and fellowship meetings are some of the most reliable forms of recovery support available, and they become even more valuable when things get hard. There is nothing quite like being in a room or on a call with people who know from the inside what a hard day feels like. Just going to a meeting when you don’t feel like it is often the time it helps most.

Building and sticking to a routine

When life feels out of control, a basic structure to your days with regular sleep, meals, and some exercise can really help. Part of the reason for this is that routine reduces the number of unplanned gaps in your day, which are where cravings and triggers tend to find their way in.

Distraction techniques

When the feeling itself is the problem, the job is to find something to do with it that is not drinking or using. That might be exercise, writing, calling someone, getting outside, or just sitting with the feeling long enough to let it pass. These sound simple, and they are, but they work because they break the old automatic response between feeling bad and reaching for something.

Professional recovery support

And if things feel like they are getting close to the edge, reaching out to a professional is the right call. Most people put it off too long, telling themselves they should be able to manage, or that asking means they have failed at recovery. But neither is true.

Extra support may mean a return to alcohol or drug rehab, a medication adjustment or a review of your relapse prevention plan. Sometimes, life after rehab includes hard patches that may need more than a meeting or a conversation can give. There is no weakness in asking for help before things reach a crisis.

The reality of relapse

Preventing relapse means taking the risk seriously, even when things are going well, and especially when they’re not.

Research has found that relapse rates for addiction are similar to those for other chronic conditions like diabetes and hypertension. Roughly 40 – 60% of people in addiction recovery experience a relapse at some point.

But relapse doesn’t mean treatment has failed. It means the condition is chronic, and that the management plan may need adjusting, exactly as it would for any other long-term illness. That framing is important because shame and self-blame after a relapse are among the things most likely to make things worse.

If you relapse, what you do next is what counts. Getting back in contact with your support, looking carefully at what triggered the relapse and why your plan didn’t work, gives you the best chance of getting back on track.

This approach isn’t just about self-compassion or not being too hard on yourself. The reality is that people who treat themselves harshly after a setback tend to spiral. Those who treat themselves with understanding and a new determination to come back better tend to get back on track faster.

What staying sober really means

Maintaining sobriety through difficulty means knowing that hard feelings are part of being alive, and that you can get through them without reaching for a drink or drugs. The hard days are not evidence that recovery is not working. They are the days when it is working hardest.

Resilience in recovery is not a fixed quality you either have or do not have. It builds gradually, through every challenging moment and every difficult day you get through without drinking or using drugs. Remember that on the days when it does not feel like enough.

If you’re struggling right now or worried about staying sober through something difficult, Bayberry is here to help. We work with people at every stage of addiction recovery, including the difficult stretches that come with sober living after treatment ends. Get in touch, and we will talk through what support looks like for where you are now.

(Click here to see works cited)

McLellan, A T et al. “Drug dependence, a chronic medical illness: implications for treatment, insurance, and outcomes evaluation.” JAMA vol. 284,13 (2000): 1689-95. doi:10.1001/jama.284.13.1689
>NIDA. “Treatment and Recovery.” National Institute on Drug Abuse, 6 July 2020, nida.nih.gov/publications/drugs-brains-behavior-science-addiction/treatment-recovery.

How to stay sober when life gets difficult